Monday, December 13, 2010

Insomnia...

is a constant struggle and frustration for me. I am a nurse and I work the night shift-- 7p-7a three days a week. I do consider it a blessing in many ways to be able to maintain a full time job that only takes me from my family for those three days a week. However, as a result of my shift-- there are nights I am not able to sleep. I am naturally a night owl as well which definitely does not play into my favor when I am having difficulty getting to sleep.

As a result, I have an overwhelming amount of quiet time to do a lot of thinking. I find at night, in these quiet moments, in the dark, when I am trying to be still and not wake anyone I am filled with negative, nagging thoughts that rarely plague me during the light of day. My present inadequacies haunt me. My past mistakes torment me and my future seems daunting. In the light of day, I feel confident and sure that where I am and what I am doing in right.

Tonight, I ask, I beg, I plead... let me rest in peace. Let me rest assured that I show love and I am loved. Let me rest in the truth that I have the biggest and the best on my side. Let me rest setting aside all of my negative energy. Tonight, let me rest knowing that I am making choices that are right and honorable and that I am acting with integrity and honesty.

Now, I will post this blog and rest knowing that I certainly do have all that I need.

 Psalm 23  
A psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.

He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.

You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.

1 Comments:

At December 13, 2010 at 8:50 AM , Blogger Tiffany said...

I love you, Jilly. Praying peace and sleep for you. I actually have struggled with insomnia during our adoption journey quite a bit. Not fun. Have you tried melatonin? I guess that is supposed to help.

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home