End of this week and beginning of next...

At times I struggle writing in this blog... What would people want to actually read that I have to share?? I am going to go ahead and step out of my comfort zone and just write so that I can log what is happening for us, in our lives, and with our adoption and all of it's processes.

We canceled our cruise. In April we had booked a cruise for the five of us for December 12-16th. Many times I questioned canceling the booked cruise. I could never pinpoint why I should cancel it, so we kept it booked. Less than two weeks ago Roy and I came to the realization and understanding that our time will be better spent at home. We have many exciting things planned for the time that we were going to be on our cruise. We are going to be working on the paper end of our adoption and getting some of the leg work done as well. We are joining the church we have been attending. We are going to be seeing Jenna's Christmas play at her school. We are getting our Christmas photos done. We are hopefully getting them printed and mailed out. We are finishing all that we need to do to be ready for Christmas-- wrapping, etc... AND... Roy and I are going to be off work together for four whole days!! We have no regrets and no second thoughts about canceling our cruise. I am thankful that we are going to have the chance to get so much done!!

This week Jenna and Josiah had their yearly check-ups and with those visits completed some of our paperwork to complete our homestudy. Yay Josiah and Jenna!! Thanks for your help! They were able to bring us one step closer to bringing our babies home. Both were so brave getting their shots done and PPD's placed. I was not at the appointment but was told that words were spoken by them that acknowledged that they were getting the shots and doing it bravely to help get our babies home. I love that they know we are all working together to get this done.

I have been facing my own struggle with the projected timeline of our adoption. I am disappointed that things are "taking so long." In my reality, our babies would have the chance to lay eyes on their parents for the first time in April. Our social worker is optimistic that we could receive our first referral by June. To say I was disappointed was an understatement. Anyway, in the upcoming week we are going to "baby stepping" our way to getting our ducks in a row. Kallista has her physical on Monday. Roy and I have our physicals on Tuesday. Check, check. We are hoping to get some of the police clearance stuff done-- just need clarification for the process for the state of Florida.

For now, I am taking the kids to a Christmas music celebration tonight. I am so excited to have them with me, to hear all the music, and have one more opportunity to learn about the real meaning of Christmas. In Christmases past I always told my children about Santa and played that game. Let's face it and be honest-- I have outright lied to my children for many years about Christmas and how it works. I am working hard this year to make sure they understand that Santa is a fun game to play at Christmas but not the true reason for the holiday. Kallista and Jenna are starting to come around and understand but Josiah is set that Santa is the end all.  At some point, I may be looking my son in the eye and telling him that I lied to make Christmas fun and Santa does not exist. It may sound harsh but waiting for him to realize that Santa is not real is only perpetuating my lie.